The councilor of Dadeville, Alabama, recently told the media that he had issued an ordinance to ban “busting slack” after seeking advice from God on how to tackle the problem of saggy pants, short shorts and skimpy dresses that has been plaguing his city of 3,200 people for years now. Frank Goodman said that even his councilwomen were in agreement with his decision.

“We have a lot of older people here who don’t want to see it. A lot of middle-aged people don’t want to see it either,” said 66-year-old Goodman. “They don’t want to see anybody walking around with their pants down with underwear that is showing. That is something that has never struck my fancy.”

Goodman explained that he had first proposed the idea of banning saggy pants in 2008, when he entered office but the legislation was met with significant opposition at the time. Yet, he has not been able to ignore the problem of low-riding trousers as youngsters at departmental stores and grocery stores continue to wear them. 

“Seeing the young boys with pants hanging down, having to walk wide-legged, holding their pants up to keep them from falling down—now it’s gotten real bad,” Goodman said. “It’s something I couldn’t take no more.”

That is when Goodman decided to pray to God with hopes of seeking legislative advice from the Almighty.

“I prayed and asked God to show me what I should do, and the way I should go about it,” Goodman said. “What would God do? Did God go around doing this? It is not in His orders to do that to gain eternal life.”

At a council meeting earlier this month, Goodman told his fellow council members how drooping denims were not only disrespectful but also set a bad example for children who failed to acquire proper jobs upon growing up.

“I prayed about this. I know that God would not go around with pants down,” he reiterated.

After Goodman reached his decision, councilwoman Stephanie Kelley proposed the banning of short shorts and skirts as well, to make sure the councilor’s ordinance did not show ‘favoritism’ towards any one gender.

Kelley, who is also a nurse, told the media, “We just want to make sure people are decent… My comment was if they are going to point at the guys, they should point at the girls too…When you got on short shorts or a short skirt, leaving nothing to the imagination… it’s like you’re advertising.”

Kelley said that she was only sharing her opinion with her colleagues and had no idea Goodman would actually consider it for his ordinance.

Attorney Robin Reynolds said that a draft version of the desired ordinance would be prepared before the next council meeting.

“If the council wants me to write in something for the females—it will take a little more creativity on my part,” he said.

Obviously, residents of Dadeville were appalled by the city council’s agenda.

One woman wrote on the Facebook page of a local newspaper, “This is getting some national coverage and not in a good way. It’s a good thing our city council is such a big joke because a lot of people around the country sure are laughing,” while another resident fumed, “So many more issues... should take priority. Can we ban people from showing crack when they bend over too?”

Yet, Goodman swore that he would win his city’s fight against his proposed ordinance.

“It’s just like catching a drunk driver,” he said. “You can’t enforce that law until you catch them. If a police officer sees somebody walking down the street with their pants down, they’ll give them a ticket… So pull your pants up. That way, you won’t be fined. Start putting a belt on and buy your pants in the right size.”

Photo Credits: Crooks and Liars