Many of us were once strong believers, but we had our trust abused and it's put us on the warpath.
The Lover
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned," [1]
That line from Congreve’s play is rather well known and used often, yet it is truly just a simplification of a more prominent idea. The idea I speak of is that no one fights as passionately and vehemently against something as does a jilted lover. You see, when you are betrayed by someone or something that you love, it breeds outright contempt in your heart for that person or thing. This contempt is further compounded if the jilted lover knows that they are righteous in their attack of their former love.
This is where I stand with religion. I am, for all intents and purposes, a jilted lover. I was once an ardent and passionate defender of Christianity. I worked constantly to bring others to Christ. I argued and debated and poured my heart into it. My conviction was so sure at the time that there was no argument that would sway me. I studied the works of the apologists and the Christian scholars and was even foolish enough to make cases defending such atrocious things as the Crusades – and yes, even the Inquisition. Worst of all, I was good at it and I did indeed bring many people to Christianity – and of all that I’ve done in my life, that is at the top of the list of regrets I have.
The Fool
Imagine if you will, that you are employed by an organization that claims to be a humanitarian organization. From the outside, this appears to be exactly what they are and this gives you great pride to be involved with such an organization. Each day you wake up happy in the knowledge that you are working to make the world a better place. However, one day you hear someone claim that the organization you work for is funding a rebel group in a foreign country that is murdering women and children for sport and sheer enjoyment. Now when you confront your boss about this, he just says, “Don’t believe everything you hear kid,” and it’s left at that. Yet day by day,more and more vile actions are being attributed to the organization. At a certain point, you can no longer just trust your boss and so you start digging into these allegations yourself – and what you find makes your blood boil with rage. The accusations are all true and you have unknowingly been a party to these heinous crimes.
It is not enough to simply say, “I was deceived!” It is not enough to simply apologize. Even if that were enough, it can’t cleanse the stains from your own conscience. Moreover, no apology can quell the anger that you feel at both being deceived and at being used as a tool to further that deception. So, what can you do to make amends? Is there even a way to make up for it? The only thing I think one can do is to strike back at the deceiver and become a vocal opponent. Opponents, such as I, are very dangerous for the organization because I was trained by them, and I understand them in a very personal way. Anyone who’s ever had a bad break-up with a long time partner can tell you that it can get very ugly when the gloves come off.
The Nemesis
“Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent.” – Brick Top from the movie Snatch
I’ve had a few people call me the Antichrist, and while I find it a bit flattering that some nut-balls have it in their heads that I’m a hell spawn with supernatural powers given to me by the dark lord Satan, it’s a rather silly notion on the whole. I am however an antitheist, and a quite loud one at that. But it’s easy to think I’m just anti-Christian, because I do focus a great deal on Christianity. The reason for this is twofold. First, it is because I am highly knowledgeable about Christian doctrine and dogma. Secondly, I must fight the enemy at my front door before I can face down the masses behind them. Even given that Christianity gets my main focus, it is not my only focus. I spend a good deal of time dissecting Islam and trying to show it for the death cult it is. I discuss the caste and misogyny issues of Hinduism and Buddhism. And I rail against the fundamentalist uprising happening within the Jewish religion. I am, for all intents and purposes, a personification of the nemesis of organized religion.
Very few religions do not receive scorn and derision from me. They all have some very major flaws and very few of them are willing to acknowledge those flaws or work to fix them. Now, I will happily admit that there is some wonderful philosophy within many religions, most especially the eastern religions including Hinduism and Buddhism. In point of fact, Buddhist philosophy is something I study very intently and even use in my own life. But, there is no philosophy so great that it offers a rationalization of the many other injustices that these doctrines, dogmas, and holy men allow for. So while I would love to indulge Siddhartha and just let it all go, I find that I have anger in my heart towards the injustice I see and I must speak. I will meet their violent words with violent words of my own – words of anger and rage that are born of intense passion for justice. I will not hide behind a mask of pacifism and simply hope that it goes away, because men will always continue to subjugate others if no one is willing to stand up and at least speak.
References:
[1] http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mourning_Bride_(Tragedy)
